"The brake light that came to me came amongst women that I call my community. Women who were once strangers who listened and cried with me. Women who joined and chimed in with me—what they would keep because I gave them my stories Women who then birthed the words "I am…" Like angels in a celestial choir Women who reminded me of how great we are A community of ambitious mothers Women with whom I am loved Women with whom I am even more creative than I could ever imagine Women with whom I am centred Women with whom I find joy Women with whom I would divinely lead, and with whom I am led Women with whom I am healed Women with whom I am forgiven Women with whom I am limitless and Women with whom I am really light…" --Dr. Juliet Iwelunmor
Meet Chinonyelum Udoye
The Work of My Hands
In 2018, I was tired of hearing my son say, “I can’t." I didn't understand this. I would tell him that you can do anything you put your mind to because God is within you. His mindset propelled me to write my first book, Make That Move: Practice. I want to help children recognize that they can do anything they put their minds to if they merely do the work. My goal is to develop a curriculum to help children identify their strengths and then hone and develop those intentional habits. I want to help children feel confident in who they are while taking the leap of faith to pursue their own goals.
Like my mother, I do not believe that the world is an island. It takes a village to build community, and when the work of our hands connects with our purpose, anything is possible.
On Motherhood and Ambitious Motherhood
What lessons do I have about motherhood? Initially, I felt like I had to fix things. I wish I had known this lesson earlier. If I had, I don’t believe that I would have been as emotional in my reactions to the kids.
I would tell mothers to listen to wise counsel. Listen to those mothers who have gone before you, for they have been through the cycle of parenting and motherhood. There is wisdom in what they are saying. Give them an ear so that you can seize every moment with your children.
Time goes by very fast.
Chinonyelum (Chi-Chi) Udoye, MBA, is a wife, friend, sister, founder, consultant and the Ambitious Mother of Arianna 12, and Eli 11.
Meet Mary Danz
Motherhood Lessons
Motherhood can be very overwhelming. I believe that the most important lesson and wisdom to hold onto while you mother your children is simply to love your child(ren). Respect them as they are. They are not meant for us to control. We need to love them, teach them, educate them and lead by example. Admit when you have been short-tempered and may not have shown up as your best self.
Motherhood is simply loving, laughing and sharing moments.
There is too much noise in the mothering industry.
All the information out there can make you feel like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. Not all mothers are great cooks, excellent seamstresses, or work outside the home. Yet, sometimes, in the mothering industry, you can become overstimulated with all the "should dos.” It’s okay to listen to and take the advice, but I also believe that as a mother, you need to listen to your instincts and observe your children's needs. You are unique. The way you choose to mother is unique and even unique between your children.
I remember hearing from another mother, "My children have been making their lunches since they were 7." In the back of my mind, I thought, “That's great for you, but I enjoy making my children’s lunches because this is how I show love and express it for my children.” My point in this is take what applies to you and leave the rest. As a result, I never allowed the noise on the outside to affect the way I mothered my children. When you can make time for your children to listen to them, you realize that your children have as much to teach you as you have to teach them.
On Being an Ambitious Mother
Ambition and motherhood can absolutely exist in the same sphere. I believe it is healthy for children to see their mother pursuing their passions. The only way ambition and motherhood cannot co-exist are when it causes stress on the family. If your ambition outweighs the importance of your family, your children will pick up on that stress.
Building, creating, and molding your children should outweigh everything else.
Mary Danz, founder of Brave HER Diaries, award-winning photographer, and the Ambitious Mother of Alec, 30, and Zach, 31.
"Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship" -Dr. Brené Brown
The power of connection should never be underestimated. We thrive when we are authentic, open, and openly share our stories with one another. We not only discover community, but we also create a domino effect of goodness that touches everyone around us. korédé offers a place to belong and to bring goodness.
korédé is a space where women can come as they are, be themselves, and be supported by other women who understand what it means to be both ambitious and a mother.
This is the korédé vision—to bring goodness.
Kelly, great piece!