The Cost of Ambition and the Wisdom of the 98-Year-Old Dinner Guest

At korédé House, we host a monthly Jeffersonian Style Supper Club — these dinners are marked with one defining art form: Only one person speaks at a time. We had the venue, the topic, and the guests, and once the table was set.. the gathering and learning was up to the guests around the table. 

On Saturday, Nov 18th, fifteen of us gathered around a table and discussed, “What really matters to us and the cost of ambition.”
As women with titles including mother, founder, CEO, SAHM, Partner, Global Lead, Owner, Senior Exec, and Storyteller gathered around the table, we opened the discussion with a quote from Indra Nooyi’s book, My Life In Full, where the former CEO of PepsiCo discussed the 30+ years of guilt she felt even though she had a supportive husband and support staff in attempting to balance ambition and family building. In it, she shares a letter from her daughter saying, “I will love you again if you please, please, please (x7) come home again.” Indra champions a future of work where women can exist in positions of power with crafted solutions that support family building. Many women bemoaned the pain and divide of demands of the work of their hands (ambition) with the lives they nurture (motherhood).

Someone shared the isolation they felt in an earlier life stage was the same isolation and loneliness that the other women around her felt too; yet no one shared their misery or sought refuge in their shared stories. It got us thinking - what stops us from suffering in silence when authenticity will heal and make us "feel better?” Around the Supper table, we got glimpses of what feeling better could look like in the shared stories and the unhooking of the warrior cape that at times strangles its wearer.   

A deeply personal story was shared by a dinner guest, and with it brought the wisdom of her 98-year-old grandmother with only a secondary school education. The room fell silent as the wisdom of the 98-year-old, though absent at the physical table, reflected how women today aren't cherishing the privilege of family and legacy building enough. Her words carried wisdom and a sense of elevated responsibility of a feminine power in rewriting the rules to redefine success. Great success is not solely measured by work achievements; but as our guest pointed out, it is also found in the lives touched, uplifted, and present at dinner in your later years.

As the evening progressed, laughter filled the air, and connections formed. It was a reminder that life's most meaningful moments often happen around a dinner table, where strangers become friends and stories intertwine.

If you're seeking a third-space community, consider korédé House as the place where you can also gather and grow.

korédé House is a third space with a mission to help ease isolation and loneliness, bring goodness to mothering women, and help families grow better.