Belonging and Acceptance

Reflecting on the Forgiving Father's Tale

There's a Yoruba saying, "Ile eni kii le eni," meaning one's home is not a place that frightens. In other words, home is always a place to belong. In the age of increasing family estrangement, I reflect on the forgiving father's tale and the lessons it offers about the stability of home and the role of present dads.

The tale of the forgiving father is better known as the parable of the prodigal son. If we focus on the father, we see a roadmap of belonging and acceptance. In the story, a dusty road echoes with the forlorn son's return. Despite every reason to pass judgment, the forgiving father embraces his son with open arms, draping his robe over his shoulders and placing his ring on his finger. This act washes away the past, transforming isolation, shame, and despair into hope and renewed dignity.

Home should never be frightening, no matter how far you've strayed.

I think of my father, now a grandfather, and how he grounded us with his presence. He was content with spending time with his children. I remember long stretches that my siblings and I would braid his afro (IYKYK). As an 85-year-old grandfather, I watch him “waste” time with my toddler in a game of toss the blanket. He gave his time without hurrying to the next thing and was content being home. His steadiness is what we will remember.

Last month, The Supper Table’s topic was “Identity, Calling and Courage;” the opening question for every dinner guest was, “Who do you admire most?” We asked guests to refrain from mentioning the person's occupation. The admired were often people without an occupation, some without education, some dealing with unspoken pain and suffering, yet they all made time and offered acceptance. From the Table, what stays with me is a story of a woman, a widow raising 5 children, working multiple shifts, yet making time for the daughter of a friend…a 6th child deserving of attention. She was admired not because of what she did or who she was, but simply because she made time for a child that wasn’t her own.

Is our posterity tied to the time we give? To the acceptance of those around us?

Reflecting on the forgiving father and my father this Father’s Day, I consider how our legacy is intertwined with the time and attention we give. Both exemplify the power of being present and showing unconditional love. As we celebrate Father's Day, let us reflect on our actions and impressions. Let us celebrate the fathers that make time and coming home easy.

May we embody forgiveness, hope, and unwavering support that makes a difference in people's lives.