He asked why.

I gave him my championest-pat-myself-on-the-back-I-can’t-believe-you’re-even-asking, answer: “So I can employ a lot more people doing the work of preserving families by rebuilding the lost village.”

He pushed back annoyingly, asking why. Asked again. Wanted the deeper why…said he was teaching me something he’d just learned.

The Real Why

Two reasons, I told him.

First: I want to train a vast number of women—mothers in particular—as Family Transition Specialists (FTS)— women trained simultaneously as doulas, peer leaders and resource navigators supporting families in the postpartum period. I want to employ a global network of women who do this work (of being like “when Nana comes over” - my son’s description of what we do at Korédé House) while earning a living wage, working 30 hours/week, practicing presence with their own families. That’s what I mean by the work of preserving families.

Second: To reverse the trend of declining birth rates in the developed world.

I said it out loud. And immediately, I felt the fear.

Am I a pronatalist? I could already write the attacks, rebuttals and skipped invitations to dinner parties…It’s one thing to say in private that the national “we” should have more kids, it’s another to say it out loud. I know the necessity for women’s empowerment, arguments about delayed family formation, about why encouraging people to have children is regressive or naive or worse. I know my privilege all too well and I know the suffering many experience because they have kids. I am steeped in the statistics about maternal isolation (1 in 2), postpartum depression (1 in 5), loss of income and identity. The lived reality is true. It’s lived. The isolation is crushing. The stigma is real. The lack of support is devastating.

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I hear countless stories of women suffering in the postpartum period. Stories where all help evaporates after the first two weeks. Where expenses rise and mental health suffers. Where identity disappears and the proverbial village exists only in Facebook groups—well-meaning strangers who can’t actually come hold you, heal you or help you…or your baby for that matter. I hear it in Alicia (not her real name) who chose to come to Korédé House to be in peer group only 5 days postpartum because her community have moved on from her now that she has this new creation. I hear it in Banke (not her real name) who faithfully comes in weekly to access the “only community” she has and is now enrolled in FTS training to support other families.

I have a global outlook on having more life, not less. I believe this is God’s will and he’s called me to His work; I’m just hands and feet.

Saying this, with all my years of western education in the modern world, makes me retreat with fear.

The Challenge

Fortunately, Deji is part preacher, part bestie. And that day, he had time to preach.

He challenged my notion that a large payroll equals impact. He asked why I thought I needed Korédé Houses everywhere when the one thing that’s free for me to use right now is my voice. He cited movements—MeToo, BLM, MAGA—and asked: Why do they need a massive infrastructure to shift culture? They started with people willing to speak up.

“Is your voice free?” he asked.

I’ve been thinking about that question ever since. Many people talk about the 3 T’s when building relationships for advocacy: Time, Talent, Treasure. Since starting this journey in 2023, I’ve added a fourth: Tongue.

Your tongue—your voice, your willingness to speak—is either the most free or the most expensive, most impactful, most costly tool you have. People say one thing in public and another in private.

What I’m Building

So this is me, coming clean.

I’m building the village infrastructure to sustain starting or growing families because we need more life, not less…It has three elements: People, Place and Platform.

• People: we train women to be Family Transition Specialists.

• Place: We create spaces—village squares like the one at 4317 Forest Park Ave. in St. Louis—where communities can gather and support each other through the stages of motherhood, parenthood, childhood.

• Platform: Easy way to connect with community filled with caregivers, clinicians and clients advocating for flourishing families.

  

It’s about saying out loud what I’ve been afraid to say: that families matter. That men and women deserve support, not just in avoiding parenthood but in thriving in it. That children are good. That life is good. That the village isn’t a metaphor—it’s infrastructure, and we can build it.

I don’t know what will happen when I say these things with my full-chest. I don’t know who will push back or how hard. But I’m in my coming clean era. Full-chest loading…

Please God, grant me the courage and wisdom to know when and how to use my voice for your glory. For now, I’d love to hear your thoughts—especially if you’re also having conversations on the value of more life, not less life…might need new pals.

#HandsandFeet

The journey has been filled with many conversations, Supper Tables that brought disparate people together, open co-working days with childcare, laundry days, and more. But as shared in a previous entry, things only truly began to "work" once our focus shifted to stage-specific care, providing comprehensive maternal support to pregnant and postpartum women.

Today marks an occasion for counting blessings and as the singer says, "…knowing I can't count that high."

The Village Behind the Vision

Deep gratitude flows to my family—Yinka, our children, my siblings, and my parents—for their unwavering support. The turmoil and isolation of founding a social, quasi-charitable venture turned them into unpaid therapists and empathetic listeners through the challenging moments.

The St. Louis community of friends deserves recognition for their tremendous support. Standing on your shoulders makes it impossible to count blessings.

To the new community of team members and birth-workers, as stated in your welcome letter, "you are the heartbeat of this vision." During Black Maternal Health Week in 2024, Tori, our care coordinator, and I reached out to several doulas attending a conference to experience respite care at Korédé House, our care hub. This outreach led to a relationship with the Maternal and Child Health unit of St. Louis City Department of Health and meeting Dr. Nancy Lewis, our doula coordinator and head of enrichment. Under Nancy’s leadership, Korédé House has grown from zero doulas to almost 20 in just one year.

The dedication of our Doulas, Family Transition Specialists, Mental Health Therapist, Massage Therapist, Software Developers, Communications Director, Administrative Assistant, Volunteers and more deserves endless thanks. Your collective work propels our mission forward "to bring goodness, ease, and inspiration to every mother in the world."

Divine Timing and Maternal Legacy

Today's press release announces our collaboration with the St. Louis City Department of Health, enabling the sustainability of physical and digital infrastructure to extend care beyond clinic walls through the first year postpartum. Mothers and birth workers now access comprehensive support: Doula care, Family Transition Specialists providing in-home care, peer groups, mental health services, self-care resources, and more. These partnerships within our healthcare system stand as testament to what my husband Yinka says time and again, "When God gives vision, He will make provision." Daily, this work affirms the truth of that statement.

We Are With You

We are with you.

Today also marks my mother's birthday, she is 76; Happy Birthday, Mom — your voice rings loudest, instilling belief that "He will give his angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways. They will bear you up in their hands, lest you dash your foot against a stone." (Psalm 91:11-12)

Bringing Goodness is what mothers can do. Our role is to encourage and empower mothers to do so and receive goodness in return.

Counting blessings, knowing we can’t count that high.

- Ronke

Have you heard the story of bubble wrap? In 1957, two engineers, Alfred Fielding and Marc Chavannes, set out to create textured wallpaper. They sealed two shower curtains together, creating a bubbly pattern they were sure would revolutionize interior design. The world wasn'tquite ready for bubble wallpaper.

But here's where it gets interesting: In 1961, IBM needed a way to protect their new computers during shipping. Fielding and Chavannes' failed wallpaper found its true purpose – not as decoration, but as protection. Today, Sealed Air, the company they founded, is worth billions.

Sometimes, your original vision isn't your true calling. Sometimes, you need to listen to what the world is telling you it needs.

In May 2023, I opened Korédé House with a vision of creating a third space for mothers – a membership club where they could find refuge, connection, and community. We believed mothers would flock to a space that was just for them, eagerly signing up for memberships ranging from $39 to $247 per month.

They didn't.

But here's what we noticed: the mothers who did come were searching for something and someway to serve others; to serve the women in their care and in their networks. They were the guides who provided needed support and understood fears, hopes, and challenges of mothering women. Today, we call these women doulas — professional game-changers in maternal care. 

Every mother needs one.

A century ago, my great grandmother was a birth worker in rural Nigeria, supporting mothers through their most vulnerable moments. When I faced postpartum depression with my third child, my mother nursed me back to health. These women - our mothers, grandmothers, aunties - were the original doulas.

Though doulas reduce C-sections by up to 58% and postpartum depression by over 40%, only 9% of births have this critical support. Why? Because 43% of birth workers leave within five years, unable to sustain their practice.

We're bringing back this vital tradition of continuous support, powered by modern professional infrastructure. We had created bubble wrap wallpaper when what the world needed was a scaffolding of support for the nurturers of society’s most precious cargo – mothers, babies, families.

We're making a real difference.

Our doulas and peer leaders are transforming maternal care, supporting mothers through every stage of their journey, reducing postpartum depression rates, improving birth outcomes, and building stronger families through our doula empowerment platform.

You see, at Korédé House, we believe in the power of community and connection. We believe that every mother deserves to feel supported, valued, and empowered throughout her maternal journey. We believe in harnessing the wisdom of trained doulas, the strength of shared experiences, and the power of intentional spaces to create something transformative.

Just as bubble wrap found its calling in protection, we found ours in village-building. This isn't just about finding a better business model. It's about discovering our true purpose: doula empowerment to transform maternal care.

So we pivoted. We leaned into what was working. We transformed our model from a members' club to a comprehensive maternal care provider. The same space, the same heart, but a different approach. And suddenly, everything clicked. Today, instead of charging monthly memberships, we provide comprehensive maternal and billable care providing sustainability for birth workers and needed caregiving and village for moms.

Our spaces aren't just beautiful rooms – they're sanctuaries where doulas and mothers find their strength. Our doulas aren't just birth workers – they're guides through the transformative journey of motherhood, from pregnancy through menopause. Our community isn't just a network – it's a village that holds and supports each mother as she grows into her new role.

Be A Village Builder - Donate Now

To every mother who walked through our doors in those early days, thank you. You helped us find our true purpose. To every doula who believes in our vision, thank you. We believe in you. You help us understand what real support looks like.

To every family who trust us with their journey, thank you. You help us become who we were meant to be.

And to you, reading this now, whether you're a doula, a mother, a soon-to-be mother, or someone who believes in the power of supporting mothers – welcome. We've found our bubble wrap moment, and we're just getting started.

With boundless optimism and unwavering commitment!

Ronke

As we approach the 4th of July, a day synonymous with freedom, independence, and national pride, many of us may find ourselves planning barbecues, watching fireworks, and enjoying time with our families. It's a day to celebrate the adoption of the Declaration of Independence in 1776, a pivotal moment in our nation's history. But as we don our red, white, and blue, it’s also important to pause and reflect on the deeper meaning of this day. The 4th of July is meant to commemorate freedom. Yet, while we celebrate the freedoms we enjoy, we must also acknowledge that the path to true freedom has been, and continues to be, a complex and often troubling journey.

When the Founding Fathers signed the Declaration of Independence, the idea of freedom was selective. Enslaved African Americans, Indigenous peoples, and women were excluded from these promises. The history of the United States is marred by instances where freedom was denied to many while being championed for a select few. In modern times, we see the remnants of these injustices in various forms of systemic oppression. From racial inequalities and gender discrimination to economic disparities and restrictions on voting rights, many citizens still face challenges to their freedoms.

Living in the United States does grant us certain freedoms that are rare in many parts of the world. We have the freedom of speech, the right to vote, and the liberty to pursue happiness in myriad ways. These are significant and worth celebrating. However, these freedoms are not absolute and are not equally distributed. This 4th of July, let’s celebrate our freedoms while also using this day as an opportunity for introspection and discussion about how we can create a more inclusive and truly free society. 

Here are some ways we can thoughtfully observe Independence Day:

1. Educate Ourselves and Our Families: Learn about the full history of Independence Day, including the perspectives of marginalized communities. Share this knowledge with our children to foster a deeper understanding of what freedom means.

2. Support Local and National Efforts for Justice: Get involved with or donate to organizations that work towards social justice and equality. This can be a way to contribute to the ongoing fight for freedom for all.

3. Engage in Meaningful Conversations: Use gatherings as an opportunity to discuss the importance of freedom and the work that still needs to be done. Encourage open dialogue about our country’s history and current issues.

4. Reflect on Personal Contributions: Think about how we, as individuals and families, can contribute to a more just society. This could be through volunteering, advocating for policy changes, or simply being more mindful of our own actions and biases.

As we light up the sky with fireworks, let’s also light up our minds and hearts with a commitment to understanding and improving the freedoms we cherish. By doing so, we can honor the true spirit of the 4th of July and work towards a future where freedom is a reality for everyone.

Happy 4th of July to all the wonderful moms out there! Let’s make this a day of celebration, reflection, and action.

Tori Lothian

Ah, summer! It’s finally here friend.

It's my favorite time of year because the days are longer and nights are warmer. But if you’re like me, you’re probably also bracing yourself for the 'joyful chaos' the season also brings into our lives as mamas. It's a balance between my 7 year old son, Ra's seemingly infinite and unlimited supply energy (how can I get some of that lol), managing our sweet new baby Amil, being a sane and loving wife, and feeding the cat (I just feel like he's ALWAYS hungry lol)- the very much-needed personal time can feel like a juggling act. I mean hello, it's motherhood, but still...

I want to remember for myself, but also bless you with the reminder of the beauty of intentional living— of making mindful choices that align with what truly matters. About steering our days with purpose and joy, rather than just letting them happen to us. This summer, I'm being intentional about choosing activities that not only keep the little ones engaged but also allow me to participate in the joy. That could look like crafting together, exploring nature trails, or simply enjoying lazy afternoons with books in the backyard. For us that looks like building tornado models, making slime, and going to dark sites- which if you've never been: GO! They are zero light pollution zones where you can see absolutely mesmerizing the natural, night sky...

Our focus for the summer at Korédé House, will be about inspiring and emphasizing this balance. While I've got you- what you think about a family yoga session in the Ore Lounge or diving into creative play at interactive art stations... these could be with or without children! Simply respond to this message to let me know, I'm all ears.

Outside of curated experiences, don't forget we're here with spaces like the serene Alaafia Lounge. One of my favorite spots for quiet moments of reflection. It's important to carve out these pockets of peace where you can recharge—because you can't pour from an empty cup.

So, grab a cup of your favorite tea or a refreshing iced coffee, find a cozy corner, and take a moment for yourself. Reflect on what intentional living means to you this summer. How will you make space for joy, for peace, but also moments of spontaneous play this summer?

I'll leave you with one more reminder: you're not alone on this journey. We're here to walk it with you, with open doors and open hearts. Here’s to a summer of intentional living.

Warmly, Shay
Creative Director

“It took the creation of the Emancipation Proclamation, the end of the Civil War, and the passage of the 13th Amendment to finally end slavery throughout the nation. Even though the Emancipation Proclamation was made effective in 1863, it could not be implemented in places still under Confederate control. As a result, in the westernmost Confederate state of Texas, enslaved people would not be free until much later. Freedom finally came on June 19, 1865, when some 2,000 Union troops arrived in Galveston Bay, Texas. The army announced that the more than 250,000 enslaved black people in the state, were free by executive decree. This day came to be known as "Juneteenth," by the newly freed people.”

My parents and grandparents outlined the meaning and purpose of Juneteenth with me when I was five years of age. We were told that it was a time to celebrate, reflect and understand your mission to continue the quest of my ancestors. 

According to Angela Tate, Curator of African American Women's History,

“Juneteenth is a time to reflect. What does it mean to really celebrate our freedom? What does it mean to be free in moments where freedom is conditional, and freedom is always a challenge? Juneteenth is a moment to think about freedom being conditional freedom and it is something that we must continuously strive and fight for.”

I heard the stories of my great grandfather’s and grandmother’s journey in Mississippi. I recall my aunt, Jean King, led the rent strike in the St. Louis Darst Webbe in a quest for equal living accommodations and affordable rent.  Her leadership led to a new model for public housing.

Equally inspiring, I heard the stories of my great grandmother’s thriving restaurant, LoveMe Lunchroom in Mill Creek Valley, Missouri. It was open 24 hours/day, 7 days/week. The entire neighborhood, home to 20,000 persons (95% black), over 800 businesses, churches and other institutions, and center of St. Louis’s black community, was erased forever from our civic life by what was labeled "Urban Renewal."

I remember my grandmother gathering me and my siblings around our piano to see “the one and only song she ever played and sang for us…….” Lift Every Voice And Sing.

I am constantly reminded that our work is not done. As we continue to educate and motivate the future generations of leaders, I lean on the strength of my legacy and stand strong in my purpose to be a blessing to others and a catalyst for the betterment of the St. Louis Community.

- Leslie Holloway

There's a Yoruba saying, "Ile eni kii le eni," meaning one's home is not a place that frightens. In other words, home is always a place to belong. In the age of increasing family estrangement, I reflect on the forgiving father's tale and the lessons it offers about the stability of home and the role of present dads.

The tale of the forgiving father is better known as the parable of the prodigal son. If we focus on the father, we see a roadmap of belonging and acceptance. In the story, a dusty road echoes with the forlorn son's return. Despite every reason to pass judgment, the forgiving father embraces his son with open arms, draping his robe over his shoulders and placing his ring on his finger. This act washes away the past, transforming isolation, shame, and despair into hope and renewed dignity.

Home should never be frightening, no matter how far you've strayed.

I think of my father, now a grandfather, and how he grounded us with his presence. He was content with spending time with his children. I remember long stretches that my siblings and I would braid his afro (IYKYK). As an 85-year-old grandfather, I watch him “waste” time with my toddler in a game of toss the blanket. He gave his time without hurrying to the next thing and was content being home. His steadiness is what we will remember.

Last month, The Supper Table’s topic was “Identity, Calling and Courage;” the opening question for every dinner guest was, “Who do you admire most?” We asked guests to refrain from mentioning the person's occupation. The admired were often people without an occupation, some without education, some dealing with unspoken pain and suffering, yet they all made time and offered acceptance. From the Table, what stays with me is a story of a woman, a widow raising 5 children, working multiple shifts, yet making time for the daughter of a friend…a 6th child deserving of attention. She was admired not because of what she did or who she was, but simply because she made time for a child that wasn’t her own.

Is our posterity tied to the time we give? To the acceptance of those around us?

Reflecting on the forgiving father and my father this Father’s Day, I consider how our legacy is intertwined with the time and attention we give. Both exemplify the power of being present and showing unconditional love. As we celebrate Father's Day, let us reflect on our actions and impressions. Let us celebrate the fathers that make time and coming home easy.

May we embody forgiveness, hope, and unwavering support that makes a difference in people's lives.

In this clip from the movie Onward, the protagonist faces an insurmountable obstacle to cross over a “pit to nowhere” using a magical bridge that only appears with belief. We witness a hero’s journey battling doubt based on sight and inviting belief based on faith. Each time I watch the clip, I tear up because of the fragility of belief and the awesomeness of the sidekick that pushes the friend with borrowed belief urging him to “believe with every step.” I often think about how we need people who believe in our ambitions and help plant the seeds for our wildest dreams.

Watch Lady Gaga’s 100/99/1 

My husband became the 2020 Democratic Nominee for Missouri Secretary of State. In a red state, his campaign attracted $250,000+ from a national PAC, raised nearly $1.5m from donors across 45 states, and 1m+ Missourians voted for him. His belief resonated with donors, journalists, neighbors, and citizens across the political spectrum. Many lifelong registered voters on the opposing party voted for him based on his conviction in voting access for all. When our world seemed to lack the right leadership and we were struggling with COVID as new parents with our fourth child, I joined in his belief because of his conviction.

Despite the odds, they believed because he believed in the possibility.

As a founder, I have gratitude and respect for fellow belief seed sowers as I create a parenting empowerment platform for ambitious women prioritizing family. I'm reminded to build belief with every step. Research shows the #1 trait of funded founders is conviction. You have to start the dance and perhaps enough people will join because you see something invisible to them. Leading by faith and not sight.

Whether taking a leap of faith or trusting others, belief is the foundation for connections and uncharted progress. In our commitment to building social connections in our community, we commit to being the sidekick to urge you, our children, spouses, friends and family members forward.

Will I fall, fly or fail? The outcome depends on conviction and belief.

A friend, a psychiatrist who deals with mental well-being, sought my input on social solutions to the $406B annual societal cost of isolation reported in Cigna’s 2021 “Loneliness and the American Workplace.”

The Three Cs of Disconnection I sent for her talk on declining mental health and social connections are as follows:

• Culture of Convenience: By relying on ourselves, we reduce opportunities for others to meet our needs and build connection. Technology enables self-service, potentially causing disconnection. We might use Uber Eats instead of cooking for a friend, or Lyft instead of driving them to the airport. Single or not, 57% of Americans report eating all meals alone. “Breaking bread” is a human tradition for connection, yet we eat alone at our desks or at home. People need people and we must be careful not to let our conveniences replace connection opportunities.

• Culture of Control — We've replaced traditional accountability relationships with paid professionals, at times with conflicting interests, under the guise of setting boundaries. We outsource conversations with friends, aunties, parents and others to paid individuals who only step out of line with our permission, for fear of being seen beyond our online persona. The rise of coaches, doulas, therapists, etc., underscores our reliance on transactional relationships for relational support.

• Capitalistic Distraction - I complained to my coach about needing 20 extra hours a week for home and work. We couldn't account for 23 hours in my 168-hour week. Later, I checked my screen time and found almost 20 hours lost to social media. Whether distracted by news, social media, or hyper-productivity, our fundamental need for touch and ‘real’ talk aren’t met. We aren’t given time and space to be known and seen.

In recent decades, we’ve attempted to solve our connection problems by going online, adding a new variable to the problem instead of looking for the solution within. We solved an awareness problem instead of a connection problem, accelerating our capacity for copious amount of information of what others are doing, events happening around the world, news stories, even Space pursuits, yet drove up an unsustainable and unprecedented isolation from others. When we add new variables to solve the problems, at times, we create new problems.

The U.S. Surgeon General’s Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation report urges action from every facet of society.

“Loneliness is far more than just a bad feeling—it harms both individual and societal health. It is associated with a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, and premature death. The mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and even greater than that associated with obesity and physical inactivity…It will take all of us—individuals and families, schools and workplaces, health care and public health systems, technology companies, governments, faith organizations, and communities—working together to destigmatize loneliness and change our cultural and policy response to it…Our individual relationships are an untapped resource—a source of healing hiding in plain sight…Loneliness and isolation represent profound threats to our health and well-being. But we have the power to respond…Our future depends on what we do today.”

Dr. Vivek H. Murthy

19th and 21st Surgeon General of the United States

Embarrassed and a bit ashamed, I sent this text to a friend about my own loneliness. I hold spaces for people to unburden and be seen, yet here I am stru-gg-ling!

As a woman of faith, I was reminded that isolation and shame are not of God. We are made for community. After I ‘tapped to call-back,’ I felt my spirits lifted. My friend shared this emotional Simon Sinek link about his 8-minute text request to ‘hold space’ when he’s in need of connection. “I tell you: ask, and you shall receive; seek, and you shall find; knock, and the door shall be opened to you.” Luke 11: 9-13.

Help must be sought.

When Alex Borstein told women to sit on the toilet, her solution fully solved the pee-on-the-seat problem without additional intervention. The best solutions come from the problem itself. Maybe we need to be brave enough to ask for connection and allow ourselves to be needed or to be served.

If you’re the 1 in 2 people who experience loneliness regularly and want better connections, consider the following:

• Join a community group. We're launching our community groups this spring and recruiting leaders. Let us know if you’d like to lead or join a group.

• Belong to third spaces like Korédé House, local libraries, gyms, or community centers.

• Send a text to someone you trust that says, "Do you have 8 minutes?"

• Shift your state with a walk or a shower.

• Do something for someone — be needed. Popcorn and Tea is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

click to watch:

Sit down to pee and call a friend.

Ronke

Recently, our 4-year-old has struggled with discontent, forsaking her Santa-brought gifts for those of her siblings.

I observed this emotion of "wanting what they have" and recognized myself in it. For years, I felt inadequate when we attended swim events and my kids needed to wear life vests while others their age just jumped right in. Consistent swim lessons felt elusive and a real burden in time and money, and I would feel envious of families that managed to get their children consistent instruction. 

In time, I've learned that others’ timelines aren’t mine, and once proficient, how long it took becomes irrelevant. Last summer, three of my children achieved proficiency in three 1:1 sessions, outperforming a decade of disjointed instruction and thousands spent. The difference was dedicated time, sufficient access, and a masterful instructor, enabled by a backyard pool.

I began to wonder if feelings of inadequacy in reaching one's goals or envy of what others have could be alleviated with the right mixture of environment, dedicated time, and proper instruction. 

I offer these questions for your 2024 planning:

1. Who am I, uninterrupted?

2. Am I setup to succeed?

3. Who are my teachers? Are they qualified? 

Guided by the questions above, I know that achievement in my professional life as CEO of korédé house and my personal life as wife and mother will happen by investing dedicated time, ensuring my environment is supportive of my development and that I sit at the feet of others before me. 

Wishing you a Happy New Year filled with adventure and achievement! 

Ronke Faleti 

"Ronke, get dressed and put on some makeup!" My mother met me with this greeting as we crossed paths in the stairwell of my house. Before I could ask why, she followed with “Men are visual; women are emotional.” I was 3 months postpartum with my third child, wearing, with a concerning consistency, an old blue velvety robe signaling surrender. My mother'…

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The portion of dialogue that resonated with me goes:

“People say relationships are tough,” he retorts.
“No, they’re not; they’re only tough when one person is working on it,” 

“That’s right, two people can move a couch real easy... one person can’t move it at all.”

I recall earlier days of moving to St. Louis, starting a new job, marriage, life as a mother, and now, as an entrepreneur. The line “one person can’t move it at all” re-centered and reminded me of the power, impact, complexity, and necessity of partnered work.  

Since opening our third space in May, trusted friends and mentors encourage me to ramp-up community events, such as Supper Table, to boost awareness and sustainability of korédé house. 

In October, I shared our first impact report, highlighting our 1:1 empathetic listening sessions, app downloads, consistent member stories of finding peace at korédé house and our 18 “private and house-hosted events,” majority being private events that did little to increase community-level enrichment and awareness.  After months of trying, I felt acutely the statement that so resonated with me...one person can't move it all. 

In the last month, I found 'co-lifters' with equal passion to empower and nurture ambitious and mothering women. Together, we have tripled our community-enrichment events through Q12024, far surpassing my 20-week solo effort and crafted a robust and attainable plan for attracting sponsors and funding to advance our work.  One of our values is Practical Help and to experience it has been a joy-hack.  

Maybe Chris Rock is right about real easy.  Maybe we need more encouragement to ask for and humbly seek help to carry our couches. 

What do you need help with? What could you create with assistance? Who do you know that can help? Do you have the courage to ask?   

Ronke Faleti 

Storyteller & Chief Experience Officer  at korédé house

"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."  Unknown African Proverb

At korédé House, we host a monthly Jeffersonian Style Supper Club — these dinners are marked with one defining art form: Only one person speaks at a time. We had the venue, the topic, and the guests, and once the table was set.. the gathering and learning was up to the guests around the table. 

On Saturday, Nov 18th, fifteen of us gathered around a table and discussed, “What really matters to us and the cost of ambition.”
As women with titles including mother, founder, CEO, SAHM, Partner, Global Lead, Owner, Senior Exec, and Storyteller gathered around the table, we opened the discussion with a quote from Indra Nooyi’s book, My Life In Full, where the former CEO of PepsiCo discussed the 30+ years of guilt she felt even though she had a supportive husband and support staff in attempting to balance ambition and family building. In it, she shares a letter from her daughter saying, “I will love you again if you please, please, please (x7) come home again.” Indra champions a future of work where women can exist in positions of power with crafted solutions that support family building. Many women bemoaned the pain and divide of demands of the work of their hands (ambition) with the lives they nurture (motherhood).

Someone shared the isolation they felt in an earlier life stage was the same isolation and loneliness that the other women around her felt too; yet no one shared their misery or sought refuge in their shared stories. It got us thinking - what stops us from suffering in silence when authenticity will heal and make us "feel better?” Around the Supper table, we got glimpses of what feeling better could look like in the shared stories and the unhooking of the warrior cape that at times strangles its wearer.   

A deeply personal story was shared by a dinner guest, and with it brought the wisdom of her 98-year-old grandmother with only a secondary school education. The room fell silent as the wisdom of the 98-year-old, though absent at the physical table, reflected how women today aren't cherishing the privilege of family and legacy building enough. Her words carried wisdom and a sense of elevated responsibility of a feminine power in rewriting the rules to redefine success. Great success is not solely measured by work achievements; but as our guest pointed out, it is also found in the lives touched, uplifted, and present at dinner in your later years.

As the evening progressed, laughter filled the air, and connections formed. It was a reminder that life's most meaningful moments often happen around a dinner table, where strangers become friends and stories intertwine.

If you're seeking a third-space community, consider korédé House as the place where you can also gather and grow.

korédé House is a third space with a mission to help ease isolation and loneliness, bring goodness to mothering women, and help families grow better.

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“You’re so brave!”

Sometimes it feels like certain words of praise are nice ways of saying, “ you’re insane, out of your mind, and in fact, making a life-ruining mistake.”

A friend of mine made the decision a few years ago to shift her ambition away from Head of School to a post as head of home. Her brave act to primarily raise her children in their formative years came with social, financial, and psychological costs. I watched her yo-yo with emotions of joy and agony in doing what she believed to be right. She experienced social isolation, some loss of identity, and doubts of the impact she was having, particularly when the fruit of her labor was not often ripe or sweet. When her former peers were posting their adventures for the ‘gram, she was dutifully teaching children how to read and potty properly. Her reality was #notforthegram.

I looked on with amazement the courage it took for my friend to persevere in her conviction of how to spend her life's fuel. My desire to be liked and take those girl trips that we post for our due in likes far outweighed my courage to do the same. The thought of an investment with an unknown return, maturing decades in the future, seemed too unwieldy.

Ahead of the summer, I came to the realization that I could no longer juggle all the balls in my care. I turned down a job offer and later followed by reducing my work responsibilities indefinitely — I wanted to lean into the belief that mothering is a noble (yet challenging) service deserving of an upgrade from performative camaraderie…the gatherings on group chats and online forums commiserating about parents, and mothers in particular, existing in the same ocean of yuck while rowing our individual boats in evaporating waters. I, too, sought to be there more for my children, yet found myself hiding from the work that came with it and at times with shame from the people who provided me opportunities to row their boats. In my pursuit of conviction, I’d hedge courage with side hustles and avoid questioners asking, “what do you do, now?”

Society is kind to the accomplished, not always to the ones becoming.

I want to be liked.

Learning the separation of tasks from the book, The Courage to be Disliked began a shift in my mindset.

• My Task: Be honest with who I am, what I know, why I’m doing what I am doing; have conviction.  

• Others’ task: Their reactions, likes, dislikes, approval, judgment, promotion, etc. 

• Not my task: Others’ task!

“Psychologist Emma Kenny told Cosmopolitan, “If you believe that other people’s opinions are facts, your esteem will be low, your confidence will be terrible and you’ll constantly seek approval" Bustle.com

Taking action without expectation of praise or care of criticism — that is to be courageous enough to be disliked — is to create in truth and not for applause. It is my task to do what I believe to be right, true and honest. Whether to love myself, my children, my spouse, my community, my work, my boundaries, or to not love the things that do not serve me — executing my life tasks will be determined by the level of courage I deploy.

Share Popcorn and Tea

Steve Jobs’ “Think Differently” campaign reminded us that the crazy ones who think they can change the world actually do. Theodore Roosevelt charged us to be “The Man in the Arena” for it is not the critics that count, but the ones who try and meet failure repeatedly. It is them, with conviction, who receive the credit. It is them, embracing being unliked, that the ages reward with remembrance.

Note to self: Do. Create. Live. Love! Courageously. Note to you: do the same and cop this water bottle designed by my team as a reminder while you hydrate.

Yes, you can!

Buy Now: Yes You Can

Last week, I spoke with an accomplished lawyer who made a surprising career pivot by declining a job she’d already accepted. “I couldn’t sleep,” is what she said describing her state of mind the month leading to her start date. She found the courage to be authentic to her truth — she’d miss too much time with her five-year-old and three-year-old twins. In the short term, it may appear that she’s crazy. In the interim, she may experience the stressors that sparked the movement of mothers microdosing on psychedelics for mental relief. In the long term, the future will decide.

Nobility and mothering aren’t congruous; however, all of society is strengthened when mothers thrive. Whether we work in the home and juggle all the things, or outside the home striving for work/life balance, hold multiple jobs with side hustles or are well resourced to access help, when mothers win, nations win more. We have to wonder how we are thinking about the future when 8.5 out of 10 millennial mothers feel unsupported by society with many abandoning or delaying parenting altogether.

I close by sharing a recent conversation with my ten-year old son about pausing my corporate career in pursuit of mothering.

Him:  so, we are going to run out of money?
Me: By God's grace, No. We have to conserve…there is a global reces…
Him: What are you going to do? 
Me: be more present with you, your sisters and your dad 
Him:  awwwh, mama. What are you really gonna do? 
Me: I’m gonna mother you! and co-create third space communities to strengthen  families, starting with moms. We are going to be fine.  It takes a lot of fuel to a launch rocket ship; you and your three sisters are the rocket ships I’m most interested in launching.
Him: (hugging my legs) Awwwh, mama thats not even cheesy at all. 

Our task: support mothers; everyday, they launch rocket ships.

When we think of ambitious women, the first thing that comes to mind is usually their careers. We imagine powerful women who are driven and focused, always working towards their next goal. On the other hand, ambitious mothers are often put in a difficult position. They are constantly asked to choose between their career and family, and are rarely allowed to have both.

But what about ambitious mothers? What do they want?

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Ambitious mothers want financial freedom and time off of the spinning wheel of a nine-to-five career, which does not offer flexibility or time for themselves. They want to be able to follow their passions without being made to feel guilty or ashamed. Above all, ambitious mothers want the peace of mind and independence that comes from fulfilling their desires and purpose while deliberately mothering their children. 

Ambition and motherhood go hand in hand.

Financial Freedom

The first thing that ambitious mothers want is financial freedom. They want to provide for their families without having to worry about money. They also want to be able to take care of themselves and their families without having to rely on anyone else. 

Flexibility and Time for Themselves

Ambitious mothers also want flexibility and time. They want to work on their terms, and they want to be able to take care of their families without sacrificing their careers. Competing priorites are often a reality and it can all be extremely exhausting—between school drop-off and pick-up, volunteer requests, and extracurricular activities. There is barely any time left for ambitious mothers to focus on themselves. And when they do have free time, they often feel guilty about not spending that time with their families. 

Freedom From Mom Guilt 

Mothers are ambitious by nature. They want to provide the best life for their children and give them every opportunity possible. However, ambitious mothers also want to have a life outside of motherhood. They want to be able to pursue their passions yet are often made to feel guilty when they do so.

Mom guilt is the guilt that mothers feel when they cannot give their children their all. This can be due to working long hours, being away from their children for extended periods, or being unable to be the "perfect" mother. Social media images of moms doing it all can be overwhelming and add to the feelings of mom guilt which then leads to shame and failure. Ambitious mothers want to be able to follow their dreams without being made to feel guilty. 

Motherhood looks differently for everyone and each woman has to find what works for her and her family. Some ambitious mothers stay at home with their children, while others work outside the home. What is important is that ambitious mothers can make choices without feeling guilty. 

Independence

Ambitious mothers also want independence. They want to make their own decisions without answering to anyone else. They want to be their own boss and have the freedom to pursue their dreams without worrying about what other people think. 

Purpose and Fulfillment

Ambitious mothers also want purpose and fulfillment. They want to have a career that they are passionate about and want to be able to mother their children with intention. Ambitious mothers want to feel like they are making a difference in the world and that their work is valuable. 

Every day I'm Hustling

Ambitious mothers are often pulled in many different directions. They want to provide for their families, but they also want to be able to follow their dreams. They want to be able to mother their children with intention, but they also want a life outside of motherhood. Finding balance can be challenging, but ambitious mothers can achieve their goals with the right mindset and support system.

The ambitious mother is a powerful force. She is a woman who is not afraid to chase her dreams and fight for what she wants.

Keeping with the theme of school buses…

Monday, August 22, was the first day of school in our new neighborhood. This picture is from Tuesday, the day that we actually made the bus. On Monday, one kid was on the bus and wasn’t let off, and two kids were left behind in school. We figured it out, albeit my heart was lodged in my throat, waiting for confirmation from bus dispatch that they indeed had my child with them. I am grateful for this image. As an immigrant, this solidifies the quintessential Americaness of childhood. I love it. I love them. I love that they made it on the school bus in our new house that I almost gingerly strolled toward and could have missed. I am grateful to have caught the bus too.

For many of us, back-to-school time is an intense period of newness, stress, changes, and adjustment to find normalcy of routine. There are too many to note.

Our team dubbed this period as a time of need for heightened mental health for our ambitious mothers, already juggling and re-juggling.

Some people have chosen to quiet quit as a means of survival during this time.

I’ve chosen to write to myself.

Dearest, 

Take heart. 

Thank God for your new house, the "west lawn," and the multicultural neighborhood. Thank God you did not walk away from this opportunity to settle your children.

#schoolbus homie! No more struggle on who’s doing pick-ups. Yes, you want to sob with the amount of overwhelm bursting through your pores. The new house, the old house, sign-ups for soccer, or is it dance or lacrosse? Remember to meet the neighbors, buy presents, declutter, reorganize, smile more, depersonalize, and slow dance with your significant other.  

It's okay to feel like it's a lot. It is a lot, all at once. 

This, too shall pass. 

Before you know it, your new floors will be done. You WILL move in. The children will have their spaces. You won’t have to commute back and forth between homes, and it will get better. I promise. Because it always does get better, and it always has. Remember when you were overwhelmed in a state of lack? Now, you’re overwhelmed in a state of blessing. You will win! Believe it and don't forget to work like heck...because it might be your bus. And if it's not...it's God's way to reign. 

His will; my hands. 

Self-Care v. Self-Sacrifice 

Many mothers find it hard to think about themselves after a long day of being with the kids or working hard in the office. Their self-care routine is long forgotten by all the other responsibilities they juggle.

According to a study published in the National Library of Medicine, The Role of Maternal Self-Care in New Motherhood, 2013, many mothers tend to prioritize themselves last when it comes to doing things for themselves.

For me, I write (clearly), I listen to worship music, and I also beautify and adorn myself with evening showers followed by a few spritzes of Chanel Number 5 (L’eau)—a slight mist of luxury before bed. It lightens my heart and makes me a good-smelling bed mate.

In the battle of overwhelm, what self-care routine or rituals do you do for yourself that nourishes you physically and spiritually? Click the button below to leave a comment and share your secrets.

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May It Be Well With Your Soul

“The best gift any of us can give ourselves is to live with no regrets. Love everyone that comes into our space. Continue to search our soul for those moments to live fully so that whatever we do, it can be well with our soul.”

 Andrea Olatunji, mother, wife, author, yoga instructor, and purposeful inspirator, is passionate about breathing life into other people physically, mindfully, and spiritually. Read about this week's ambitious mother, Andrea Olatunji.

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 "The brake light that came to me came amongst women that I call my community.
Women who were once strangers who listened and cried with me.
Women who joined and chimed in with me—what they would keep because I gave them my stories
Women who then birthed the words "I am…"
Like angels in a celestial choir
Women who reminded me of how great we are
A community of ambitious mothers
Women with whom I am loved
Women with whom I am even more creative than I could ever imagine
Women with whom I am centred
Women with whom I find joy
Women with whom I would divinely lead, and with whom I am led
Women with whom I am healed
Women with whom I am forgiven
Women with whom I am limitless and
Women with whom I am really light…"

--Dr. Juliet Iwelunmor

Meet Chinonyelum Udoye

The Work of My Hands

In 2018, I was tired of hearing my son say, “I can’t." I didn't understand this. I would tell him that you can do anything you put your mind to because God is within you. His mindset propelled me to write my first book, Make That Move: Practice. I want to help children recognize that they can do anything they put their minds to if they merely do the work. My goal is to develop a curriculum to help children identify their strengths and then hone and develop those intentional habits. I want to help children feel confident in who they are while taking the leap of faith to pursue their own goals. 

Like my mother, I do not believe that the world is an island. It takes a village to build community, and when the work of our hands connects with our purpose, anything is possible. 

On Motherhood and Ambitious Motherhood

What lessons do I have about motherhood? Initially, I felt like I had to fix things. I wish I had known this lesson earlier. If I had, I don’t believe that I would have been as emotional in my reactions to the kids.

I would tell mothers to listen to wise counsel. Listen to those mothers who have gone before you, for they have been through the cycle of parenting and motherhood. There is wisdom in what they are saying. Give them an ear so that you can seize every moment with your children. 

Time goes by very fast. 

Chinonyelum (Chi-Chi) Udoye, MBA, is a wife, friend, sister,  founder, consultant and the Ambitious Mother of  Arianna 12, and Eli 11.

Meet Mary Danz

Motherhood Lessons

Motherhood can be very overwhelming. I believe that the most important lesson and wisdom to hold onto while you mother your children is simply to love your child(ren). Respect them as they are. They are not meant for us to control. We need to love them, teach them, educate them and lead by example. Admit when you have been short-tempered and may not have shown up as your best self.

Motherhood is simply loving, laughing and sharing moments. 

There is too much noise in the mothering industry.

All the information out there can make you feel like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. Not all mothers are great cooks, excellent seamstresses, or work outside the home. Yet, sometimes, in the mothering industry, you can become overstimulated with all the "should dos.” It’s okay to listen to and take the advice, but I also believe that as a mother, you need to listen to your instincts and observe your children's needs. You are unique. The way you choose to mother is unique and even unique between your children.

I remember hearing from another mother, "My children have been making their lunches since they were 7." In the back of my mind, I thought, “That's great for you, but I enjoy making my children’s lunches because this is how I show love and express it for my children.” My point in this is take what applies to you and leave the rest. As a result, I never allowed the noise on the outside to affect the way I mothered my children. When you can make time for your children to listen to them, you realize that your children have as much to teach you as you have to teach them.

‍On Being an Ambitious Mother

Ambition and motherhood can absolutely exist in the same sphere. I believe it is healthy for children to see their mother pursuing their passions. The only way ambition and motherhood cannot co-exist are when it causes stress on the family. If your ambition outweighs the importance of your family, your children will pick up on that stress. 

Building, creating, and molding your children should outweigh everything else.

Mary Danz, founder of Brave HER Diaries, award-winning photographer, and the Ambitious Mother of Alec, 30, and Zach, 31.

"Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship" -Dr. Brené Brown

The power of connection should never be underestimated. We thrive when we are authentic, open, and openly share our stories with one another. We not only discover community, but we also create a domino effect of goodness that touches everyone around us. korédé offers a place to belong and to bring goodness.

korédé is a space where women can come as they are, be themselves, and be supported by other women who understand what it means to be both ambitious and a mother.

This is the korédé vision—to bring goodness.

Those words were shared by a korédé Stage member. 

It got me thinking and reflecting about pain, pride, and time. As time passes, I find that I get more ashamed of doing something I was supposed to do.

This is the question in today’s newsletter…

Are our coping mechanisms actually hurting us?

The nuance in my team member’s voice when they said, “...even though she’s alive,” caused me to pause and reflect.

…

In the early part of the pandemic, my father was stricken with Covid-19 and had many of the co-morbidities we had been warned led to unfavorable outcomes. Per the New York Times probability of death calculator, his likelihood of survival was less than 10%.

Some days after he was admitted into the hospital, my siblings and I flew home within hours of hearing of his worsened state. With fear and emotions running amok, family drama ensued. Soon, a rift developed that was memorialized with the infamous leaving of the group chat by multiple members of the family.

Months passed.

I found myself missing sending messages, sharing pictures and even having phone conversations. Yet, my pride kept me at bay, even though we had much to celebrate — my father’s favorable outcome. 

“Even though she’s alive,” kept ringing in my ears and reminded me that the hurt wasn’t worth the loss.

I messaged a sibling presumably still in the group chat to add me back and reinstate my admin status. I was here to stay and slay!

It’s been over a year since that reinstatement and this past week, I got to experience my 83-year-old father playing with my two-year-old daughter at a family event celebrating my brother’s growing family. It came full circle that pride is definitely not worth the loss.

It’s a reminder to act with courage even when we are bruised and to choose a reality that negates pride and its first cousin, shame.

Will I recognize if I’m nurturing a coping mechanism that’s actually impeding my progress?

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Between 2019 and 2022, I have experienced my most difficult years. COVID was a key factor in this challenging time. The articles on Primal Scream, Languishing and State of Agony all felt like they were written with me in mind though I was never interviewed.

The unrelenting toil of mothering—breastfeeding, caregiving, deaing with a lack of childcare, and a lack of outlet, resulted in back-breaking guilt of not being enough. I had become a homeschooling teacher, a caregiver for my ailing father, and a support for my mother. At the same time I continued to hold space for my husband and I to pursue our purpose.

Like Dory in Finding Nemo, I repeated the mantra, “just keep swimming.” I put one foot in front of the other and asked God to help me thrive and not merely endure.

Much is said about the highs and lows of leading a startup. You can experience the full range of emotions as you nurture your baby, going from complete love to debilitating despair. We know it’s a rough road, and founders tend to find each other to commiserate the jubilant damns! And the desponded d-a-m-n-s. 

But what about the highs and lows of the rearing of human babies. Where do we jubilate? Where do we grieve? Where is it safe?

I felt unsafe to reach out to commiserate in my current state of desponded d-a-m-n! Who do I call? Everyone has their own life. You’ll only be b-o-t-h-e-r-i-n-g them…those were the stories I kept telling myself…anyway, that’s what a therapist is for. Why would I create drama for someone else?

I finally got the courage to “silencio Bruno” and text a friend. She was away on vacation. The guilt set in immediately and my thoughts were reinforced. I let go of my need to demand time and created levity by saying “thanks for coming to my Ted Talk” with a sprinkle of haha and unnerving emoji to dismiss my true heart.

I needed more.

As if divinely timed, my sister called me in the middle of my despair between the penned text drafted to my children and sent text to a friend. I ugly cried sobbed with deep sadness as a response to her “hello.” She stayed on the phone patiently, hearing the heaving sounds of pain and prodded me to get it out.

Eventually, I said “I can’t give them what they need.”

I am eternally grateful for feeling safe to express with disregarded judgement my level of complete overwhelm. I have this Martha-a-lot gene from my mother (mothers are the easy target to blame for things aren’t they!?) and like Martha (from the Bible), I does a lot and had the capacity to bear a lot…until I couldn’t anymore. I am glad to have had the courage to share and feel safely seen.

It is encouragingly empowering when you realize that you’re not alone.

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Through this, I jubilantly proclaim my calling: to create safe spaces for ambitious mothers through community anchored in storytelling and restorative care. 

My company, korédé, defined as bring goodness, is more than a brand. It is a collective that empowers mothering women to illuminate the fundamental truth of what it means to live in the space of deliberate motherhood coupled with ambition.

My thesis is simple. Mothers shape the future and are the lead product engineers of society. We do so with:

1. Ambition—We shape the future with the work of our hands. 

2. Mothering—We shape the future with the spark we nurture in our children, our tomorrow.  

3. Mental Health—We shape the future with lingering pains/trauma that could get passed on to the next generation.

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Even superheroes have a space of their own. Mothers need time, space, and community to thrive.  korédé is a place where ambitious mothers gather.

This is a statement of fact that I frequently utter—at times with pride—and at other times with trepidation of judgment. I never expected these four words to be a plea for surviving. With both of my hands up in the position of surrender, I said in a quaking and calm voice, “I have four kids.” 

The recipient of my words was one of two armed robbers at the cell phone store I walked into shortly after 7 p.m. on Saturday, September 4, 2021—memorable, in part, as it was Beyoncé’s 40th birthday.

The gunman’s unmasked accomplice personified fear parading back and forth in the open, saying, “Don’t do anything stupid.” With a light tap on my shoulder, he pronounced in a firm yet sincere tone: “Don’t do anything stupid, you gon’ be alright!” It was then that I looked him in the face and said, “I have four kids.” 

Flight. Fight. Freeze 

My life did not flash before my eyes. The faces of my four children did not appear in my mind. Getting home to continue to mother my four children was my sole prayer point, even without an explicit ask. I wondered if this was the moment to slyly reach for my phone and press record. I decided against moving my hands, as this could be the ‘something stupid’ and kept them visibly up.

I did not scream. I did not cry. I did not move. I did not even feel the weakness I usually feel in my knees when I experienced sudden fear. I was frozen in time with clarity of purpose—get home. 

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I drive home. 

I prostrated myself in praise and worship of the Almighty One who saw fit that I should witness danger and not be damaged. As promised and recorded in the songs of David, “He lifted me up on eagle’s wings, lest I dash my foot against a stone.” 

I was overcoming.

This experience led me to ask myself, when will I do His will? Why am I languishing? Having avoided an untimely and permanent gravesite address where “never birthed” treasures lay, I faced up to the truth—I am not courageous enough to live in discomfort and do as commanded.

I wanted to overcome. I sought wisdom from my 83-year-old father on a formula for overcoming. He told me of his determination to come to America and within his story, he highlighted the ingredients to overcome anything: 

1. You must have a goal. 

2. You have to have iforiti.

Iforiti: courageous perseverance in pursuit of one's goal.

3. You have to believe in yourself. 

Believing in Myself—My Biggest Challenge Yet 

I pressed my dad to share more about how he persisted in the face of repeated failure and learn to believe in himself; a necessary skill that I felt I was desperately lacking. He told me “Future Pride” is how you borrow belief. He manifested a future in his mind that felt as true as his reality. He believed in the pride both himself and the village would have 30,40, even 60 years later as fuel to courageously persevere. I witness and benefit from that pride today, even though the seeds he sowed were years before I was conceived. It felt true; I see it in action. I eat from the garden of belief he planted.

I chose to adapt Future Pride held by me and others in this generation and the ones to come as my system of belief to also overcome. I realize that the vision that was provided to just me will appear distorted to others. On my way, I will be met with tremendous discomfort and resistance that will surely demand activation of divine iforiti.

My job is to sow the seeds of belief.

On Beyonce’s 40th birthday, I was jolted into action. The seeds planted from that action grew into korédé, a place where ambitious mothers gather.

First shared in “Overcoming: Living Our Best Life, In Spite Of…” anthology.